How Little Daddy Knows
by Laerkstrein
Summary: As a father, Isshin feels it's his duty to bring some joy to his young family. Sadly, it seems the children know more than he does. Pre-series.


****Disclaimer:** **I don't own _Bleach, _or any of the _Bleach_ characters used in this fic. They all belong to Tite Kubo: the genius behind the captivating manga that started it all. I only own any of my original characters that I choose to include, as well as any of my own original plot ideas.**  
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**How Little Daddy Knows**

**Prompt: **It was just for fun...

**A/N: **For LJ.

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><p>"What are you doing?"<p>

Eyes widened as he peeked out from behind the shoddy cardboard box, a knife already stuck through the bottom as it lay on its side. It was supposed to be a surprise. If Masaki were questioning him, the children would soon follow.

He couldn't have that.

"No looking!" he whispered, hopping out of the box so as to cover it with a blanket. "If you're here, then the kids are gonna want to see what I'm doing!" She raised an eyebrow and didn't move. Isshin hopped to his feet, crossing the room so as to quickly usher her out. "Go, go, go!" he insisted, nudging her out of the room. "I'll tell you when I'm ready!"

With that, the door was shut, and no more questions were asked.

He returned to his project, cutting a large hole in the bottom of the box before laying out an old shower curtain. It had been sitting in the attic for gods-knew-how-long, and it was high time it served its purpose as a piece of junk. Several small jars of paint were laid out on the plastic, causing it to sink slightly into the carpet thanks to the weight. A brush was dipped into each container, the bristles easily spreading the bright colors across the box. It didn't _have_ to be pefect, but he wanted it to be. People may have seen him as a complete idiot, but he really did give a damn about the impression made upon his kids.

Fifteen minutes later, it was finished. Still, it really did look like an old cardboard box, but kids weren't picky. Thank the gods. He darted out the door, closing it behind him before jumping up the stairs two at a time, slipping down the hall and into Karin and Yuzu's room. There, in the corner by the cribs, sat his target. Isshin gathered up an armful of the plushy animals, heading out into the hallway so as to begin stumbling back down the stairs.

"Whatcha doin', Daddy?" a voice said as he reached the ground floor.

His eyes widened, gently lowering his cargo so as to peer over the fuzz and stare at the little boy. "Uh... Nothing." He hoped Ichigo would buy it.

The child poked one of the bears in Isshin's arms, little face contorting into a scowl. "Nuh-uh!" he said, crossing his arms. "You're doin' somethin'! I'll tell Mama that Daddy's hiding stuff."

It wouldn't be too perilous if Ichigo went to his mother, but... "It's a surprise," Isshin whispered, eyes wide. "For your sisters." _And you._ "Why don't you go get them, and I'll meet you in the living room."

Ichigo nodded his head furiously, bouncing on his feet. "Okay!" he squeaked, running into the other room. "Yuzu! Karin!"

Quickly, Isshin ran into the living room, throwing the stuffed animals behind the poorly painted box, crouching down so as to await his audience. There was chattering as Ichigo carried one of his sisters into the room, plopping her down on a cushion in front of the display.

"This is where you sit, Karin. Daddy has a surprise for you."

Isshin peered around the box, catching the infant's gaze. She was pouting, her head hanging so as to give her the appearance of a rather evil anime character. Pretty scary look for a baby's face. Frankly, it often gave him chills when Karin stared at him like that.

The other girl, his perky little blond, Yuzu, was giggling happily as her brother scooted her to Karin's side before he sat down behind them with wide eyes. Masaki had follwed as well, her hands on Ichigo's little shoulders.

His finger pushed down on the tape player he'd hidden behind the box, playing cheesy music that made the children's faces light up. It seemed they recognized it as being part of a show they watched.

"Welcome to the Super-Special Doraemon Fan show!" Isshin announced in a high-pitched voice, throwing a couple of stuffed toys over his head, forcing them to march around inside the box. "We have a special surprise for you today!" one of the bears said, trembling. "After a long time, we've finally brought our hero to meet you all today! Now, please put your hands together for _Doraemon_!"

The tape player echoed the sound of clapping hands, coaxing a cheer from Ichigo. "Doraemon! Mommy, Doraemon's here!"

Isshin's eyes widened as he sifted through the animals. Where the _hell _was the freaking Doraemon doll? Last he'd seen it had been the day of their yard sale a few weeks earlier. Oh, _shit. _Now he remembered. Upon Masaki's encouraging, he'd grabbed the ratty old thing from the shelf in the girls' room, as she had claimed that it seemed to frighten Yuzu in the night. Well, it _had _been missing an eye, and he'd run over it on their last family vacation when Ichigo had dropped it out the window, but...

"Doraemon?" Ichigo asked. "Where are you?"

_Oh, hell!_

Improvising, Isshin grabbed a plain white bear made of corduroy cloth and smeared several colors of paint onto its face before having "Doraemon" make his appearance to his loving public.

"Sorry about that!" he made the bear say. "This place is so big, I got lost on the way to the bathroom!"

There was a stunned silence, the tape in the tape player having stopped as well. Then, there was a loud gasp from Ichigo: "That's not Doraemon!" he whined. "It's just a dumb old bear!"

Amazingly, Yuzu and Karin seemed to have understood that, as the latter pulled the box away as her siblings began to cry. Now, Isshin had been exposed for the fraud that he, rather, the bear, was. Masaki took Ichigo and Yuzu in her lap, cuddling them as Karin, pacifier in her mouth, tilted her head down before glowering at her father.

Gods, that was just _too _freaky.

Masaki then ushered Ichigo into the kitchen as she scooped up Karin. "It was a nice try, dear," she smiled. "But, the next time, I think you might be better off buying them Happy Meals."

As Isshin sat quietly in the living room, lamenting his failure, he could almost hear what Masaki would be telling them later on: "It's okay, darlings. Daddy just doesn't know how to make people laugh."


End file.
